Troillsm. Observing one’s partner engaged in sexual activities with another person.
Are you a cuckold?
Do you want to be a cuckold?
Could you cope being a cuckold?
Derived from the word cuckoo and alluding to the habit where the bird lays its eggs in other birds’ nests, biologically a male who unwittingly invests parental duties to those who are not genetically his offspring is deemed a cuckold.
The modern terminology for a cuckold these days is a husband or partner of an adulterous wife or girlfriend.
For the instance of this article and to keep the subject as simple as possible, a cuckold will be referred to as male in a straight relationship, although same sex relationships can happily comply with this terminology with one partner playing away known or unknown.
As a cuckold there are generally two main differences with various subcategories and subcultures.
The main and modern known cuckold is a husband who has an erotic fetish of watching his wife (called a Hot Wife) flirt and have sex with other men in front of him or via any kind of live web chat, or knowing that she is having sex with other men without his presence, either in a different room from each other situated in the same building or away from home and with some kind of proof that she is playing away.
This could be the wife sporting sexy lingerie instead of wearing her usual day to day underwear, having pictures or videos of her encounters that she’s willing to share with her husband as well as with a select circle friends and others online, used underwear where the remnant signs of sex can be found or making the husband orally clean up the remains of her lover’s juices from her nether regions, known as a creampie.
Another type of cuckold is generally a husband whose wife is cheating on him by having an affair or secretly having sex with other people without him knowledge and permission.
Anyone who wants to enjoy the cuckold lifestyle must be in a trusting relationship where the husband and wife agree to a set of rules beforehand of what can happen, regardless of any situation that may occur whilst being together in their partnership.
Depending on their agreement, the husband tends to be the submissive half in the bedroom, which, in some cases, can overlap into their normal daily lifestyle. Being humiliated and degraded in front of his wife and her sexual partners can be an exhilarating experience, leading into the realm of escapism. Having the binds of respectability, responsibility and the alpha male syndrome suddenly relinquished and not being in control of the situation which he is used to, can bring out the masochist within his macho ego and heighten his sexual desire.
The fantasy of being a cuckold can be exciting, intoxicating and may revive a dull, vanilla sex life, whilst the realism of this dream can cause anxieties, fears of failure, inadequacy, friction and jealousy.
This is not the normal keys in a bowl, wife swapping swinger’s relationship where both partners are equal and can have consensual sex with others, together as a pair or off out separately.
If you want to have a partner who openly plays around, regardless of how much you both love each other or how much you trust each other, you both have to seriously consider the pros and cons of allowing others in to your inner sanctum and joining in your bedroom games. This is a huge emotional step to undertake and must not be considered lightly, even if you have necked back several glasses of wine late at night and feeling rather randy in the process.
As a typical cuckold, the wife will now have the sexual power and can dictate what she desires, when she wants it, where she wants it and how she wants it. The male may have no choice once the genii is out of the bottle when the wife gets the feeling of her empowerment or the pleasure from the numerous sizes of her playmates she may welcome to water her flower.
Once the wife has tasted her liberation, and enjoys it, she may take it a stage further in restricting her husband from playing about by locking him in a cock cage. This is a male chastity device that stops the penis from getting aroused and confines the growth within the metal or plastic casing.
The wife will keep the key to the cage and may release her husband to play when she feels fit. She may even emasculate the husband even more by giving the key to one of her lovers to look after who then becomes the key holder. The lover, called a Bull, if powerful enough, may take control of both of the couple and invite other bulls into the household to fornicate with the wife whilst the husband watches or may make the husband clean up the bulls once the deed is done.
The locked husband may even be forced by his wife or the bull to wear ladies lingerie whilst watching his wife take all. If so, he is now deemed as a Sissy and possibly ‘owned’ by the bull.
By doing this, the husband may feel unworthy and inadequate in the bedroom department, unable to fulfil his wife’s needs. Yet the wife may only want to have a cheap thrill, the flattering experience of being wanted or the urge to be used by a complete set strangers, sometimes more at one time, still with the knowledge of having a husband to come back home to and fall back into his loving arms.
Another type of cuckold, which is fairly rare, is when an alpha male who doesn’t enjoy any form of humiliation, has a say in who his wife sleeps with and when.
Real cuckolds today are not weaklings, idiots or pushovers. These men have found a sexual fetish niche that makes them happy. Like many other kinks, being a cuckold can be a stress reliever as well as a primeval experience.
Though back in the day, being called a cuckold was considered an insult. Cuckolds have sometimes been known as ‘wearing the horns of a cuckold’. This is a reference of the mating habits of stags who use their horns in battle, but forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male.
The Saint Arnoul, Arnolphe or Ernoul is often cited as the patron saint of cuckolded, hence the name of Molière’s character Arnolphe.
The female version of a cuckold is a cuckqueen.
A cuckqueen is the wife of an adulterous husband or partner. She is aware of her partner’s activities may encourage it, and like her counterpart, can take sexual pleasure from it, even though she may sacrifice her own sexual pleasures and lead a life of celibacy.
In this instance, the male takes on the sexually dominate role whilst the female takes on the submissive role. The wife is only allowed to take part in sex with the permission of the husband.
The husband can allow a cuckqueen to play with other husbands or lovers. But in some instances, the cuckqueen can be humiliated by her husband and lovers in exactly the same way as a cuckold.
Whether you’re a fledgling cuckold or a cuckqueen, please take your time in deciding if this is the right path for you both to take. Is this just a dream or a fantasy? Do not take you sexual journey lightly. Talk and talk more about it. Do not force your partner into this lifestyle if they don’t want to. Why ruin a good relationship over a flight of fancy?
Though do remember. Once you have stepped on to the cobbled carpet to cuckoldry, there is no turning back!