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Clubs & Saunas openings

PLEASE NOTE

Due to Covid 19 and current local lockdown restrictions, some clubs and saunas have now re-opened, but with a minimum capacity of customers and with limited facilities.

Hopefully, all clubs and saunas in England should be fully opened and functional from 21st June 2021.

For more information, please contact the relevant venues for updates, prices, times, events and their Covid policies.

Thank you.

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Play Safe

Play Safe

Here is a post from Facebook.

THIS IS DEEP…
•YOU saw him on Facebook.
•You check his profile picture.
•He drives a Range Rover Sport 2019!
•He is handsome.
•He inboxed you.
•You reply, all excited.
•You want to hook up.
•You set a date.
•You dress up in those leggings with no underwear.
•Smelling good.
•You put on a make up – fresh breath and new weave.
•He takes you for lunch.
•He takes you for drinks.
•You two have a good time.
•He rubs your hand.
•Makes you laugh.
•Gives you looks and smiles.
•You stupidly fall in love.
•It’s like you’ve known him forever.
•He takes you to his apartment.
•He makes you feel comfortable and lays you on his bed.
•Kiss you passionately.
•You love his aggression, strength, power and you give in.
•It feels good.
•You know it’s wrong, but it feels good.
•You ask for protection, he says it’s too late.
•You obey and don’t disturb.
•He says he loves you and you don’t hesitate to say you love him too. He hits it nice and slow.
•After, he goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
•He helps you drink it, ooohh man.
•You feel special.
•”He must be ‘the one’ you think to yourself.
•You get dressed.
•He takes you to the taxi park.
•He kisses you on the cheeks and says
•”I had a great time,”
•He gives you cash.
•You smile and say.
•”See you tomorrow babe.”
• He stays silent.
•Your taxi drives away.
•In the taxi you can’t stop smiling.
•You get home and inbox him that you got home safe.
•He is online, but doesn’t reply.
•It’s unlike him, so you inbox him again.
•He doesn’t respond.
•Minutes later you can’t find him on your friend list.
•HE BLOCKED YOU!
•Days, weeks, months passes by.
•You start feeling sick, weak, loose weight, act strange with sores in your mouth.
•You go to the clinic.
•Get tested.
•Minutes later,
•Nurse walks in.”I’m sorry. You’re HIV Positive and Pregnant!”
•”HOW?”
•You don’t understand.
•Reality hits you.
•You walk home.
•Scared.
•Confused.
•You go to the bus stop.
•You lay, hopeless, emotionless.
•You see death coming nearer.
•You look into the sky & mumble a prayer.
•That’s the end of you

Don’t be that girl! Live well. Stop chasing material things. Play safe. Use protection. No excuses! Full stop.
Be a girl you want your daughter to be!
LIVE A LIFE, NOT A LIE.

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Kissing

Kissing.

If you were in a committed relationship, regardless of it being open or exclusive and your partner happen to have snogged someone whilst they were sober or drunk, would you class that as cheating, a stupid mistake or wouldn’t you care?

Kissing is simply two body parts touching each other, just like holding hands, isn’t it? If so, what’s the difference between an Eskimo kiss and a butterfly kiss? Aren’t they just as intimate too?

A24-Pop-Art-Lips.jpg
Is kissing a personal and precious act between two loving people or just an unemotional action where human beings long to connect with anyone, whoever they are, whenever they are and wherever they are?

Can kissing lead to other things, other pleasures or other mistakes?

Or is a kiss just a kiss?

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SWINGING ADVICE FOR SINGLE GUYS

Swinging Advice For Single Guys

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I have come across loads of frustrated decent guys who are struggling to meet women and couples online and are continually being rejected. Why is that?

Is there a hint of desperation lurking in the darkness? Is the repetition of rejection dampening your arder? Are you subliminally emitting signs of a psychotic parasite whose intentions are to conquer anyone’s private parts without any thought and emotions?

What about seeing from the other person’s perspective? Have you considered what they have to go through? Can you imagine how many emails of dross that they have to filter just to find the right companion?

Read their profiles carefully. Are you what they are looking for? Do you match their requirements? Will you be compatible? If not, then why are you subjecting yourself to humiliation? Why are you wasting your time, knowing that the answer will be no? Your ego can only take so much and you don’t want to shatter your confidence, do you?

Consider this.

Imagine you’re this beautiful sparkling diamond protruding from a steaming pile of manure surrounded by faecal matter and urine. The diamond is priceless and has been spoken about but not seen in a long time. Other people are desperate to have it, but they can’t get to it as they don’t want to get covered in all the surrounding crap.

Unfortunately this is what couples and women have to deal with on a daily basis. These poor people are inundated with piles of poo which pour into their inbox, thus missing out on that rare diamond.

Don’t be that trapped, dirty diamond swamped by a city of crap. Stand out from the crowd. Give yourself some sparkle, dazzle with your charm and become the coverted company that everyone wants.

With all that in mind, here are 10 simple, yet honest tips aimed at single guys who are having trouble meeting swinging couples and women for friendship and hopefully some slap and tickle.

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1. YOU HAVE NO POWER

As you are a single man on adult sex websites, you are the majority and have no power. Couples and single ladies have the power. This means you are the bottom of the food chain and have to stand out from the crowd to get attention.

Check out your competition. Click on the search engine on your site and search for men looking for women and couples. Don’t be surprised on how many guys are all looking for the same kind of thing as you are.

2. CREATE A GREAT PROFILE

This is your advertising board to the world.

Your profile defines who you are and what you are looking for. Let people know what you like, your interests, how far you can travel, your availability and when/if you can accommodate. The more specific you are with your description, the better the chance of finding the right matches.

Be yourself when writing your profile. That way you will be unique and will stand out. Don’t claim to be someone that you’re not and write a lot of lies. If so, you will attract the wrong type of person and will feel uncomfortable when you meet up. If you want to experiment with both sexes, then add bi curious to your profile.

If you don’t want a certain type of person to contact you, then you can adjust this on your site settings and block them. You will not offend them as they won’t be able to search for you nor see your profile.

Take decent photos of yourself. This is obvious as people will want to see what you look like and then they can decide if you are their type or not. Please DO NOT upload a cock shot as your profile picture. Have a tasteful body picture instead. Most people like to see a variety of pictures, including face, body and cock. Also, constantly update your pictures and profile. Remove older pics as your body may have changed over time and use current ones. You may surprise someone when you meet up as they may have been attracted by a pic of you with a tanned six pack and then you arrive with a wobbly party keg! This may classed as false advertising.

If you don’t want to show your face in public, (this could be because of work, partners, or you simply just don’t want to) your face pic can be set as private or can be sent through a private message, email or briefly on cam.

As a bonus, get photo verified as this will make you come across as more reliable. Plus it shows that you are serious about your profile and getting genuine meets.

3some 3

3. READ THEIR PROFILE

Before you make the first contact, please read their profile in full. Why? Because you may be wasting your time by not fulfilling their requirements.

Most of us skim over profile details, desperate for a meet. But in most cases, other people are not so desperate and are looking for the right kind of people. For instance, if their profile states that they are looking for people between the ages of 30-50 and you are 51, then DO NOT contact them unless stated otherwise. Again, if they are looking for bi guys and you’re straight, then the partner is not going to let you near his wife or girlfriend as he will be missing out on the fun too!

4. BE POLITE

Congratulations. You match their requirements. Now what?

Think with your brain and not your penis. This is recommended for younger single guys and in some instances, older gents too. When you have the horn, rub one out before contacting anyone. Save that for your mobile apps.

Use your brain and not your penis when writing an email. You may find that the couple may not be exciting as they were an hour ago. Their sexy pictures may have turned your head, but after your happy ending, they may not seem as appealing as originally thought.

When sending a personal message, please don’t use text speak. Most people will find it hard to understand, plus it’s rather immature. Also, when massaging a couple, address them as a couple and not just one person as it’s rude to ignore their partner.

Please don’t send one liners, such as ‘nice profile’ or ‘wanna screw’. You will definitely be blocked and you will have lost your chance of fun and games. Send a polite and friendly email, the kind of email that you would like to receive. If you share the same interests and kinks, then mention them in your message, though nothing explicit at this stage. Remember that you’re contacting real people and not some random sex object.

If the reciprocates want a picture, then send a happy face and body pic and definitely no cock shots (unless asked for).

3some 2

5. NO RESPONSE? MOVE ON

After you have made your first contact and you don’t get a response, move on. Yes this is very annoying and can be considered as an insult to your ego, but there may be a reason for this.

Obviously you may not be what they are looking for and if they haven’t got the decency to say no. this may be a warning to you so move away quickly.

The couple could possibly be away on holiday, dealing with an emergency or you could have contacted them during work hours and they need to be at home or somewhere private to reply to your message.

It could be that the couple have been inundated with emails and are taking their time to sort through them or that they have simply forgot. If they are interested in you, they will get back to you in their own time. Remember, they have the power.

If your email has been read and they haven’t answered for a while, don’t send a bitchy email back to them. Your abusive email may end up getting you bad feedback and being kicked off the site. Forget about these people and move on. Life’s too short to worry over little stuff like that.

6. NO FOR AN ANSWER

It’s not a personal attack if you receive a message saying ‘Thanks, but no thanks’.

Again, it could be you’re not what they’re looking for, the couple are not playing at the moment or something else has come up. Just accept their reply and move on.

3some 5

7. DON’T BE PUSHY

Yes. High 5. You finally have a yes to your message and you’re both interested in some playtime. Now what?

Don’t come over pushy with your messages. Just be natural and let the conversation flow. If the messaging gets a bit heated between you both, then yes suggest some simple actions that you would like to do. See if they suggest anything first. On your initial message don’t beg and say ‘I want to do X with you’ or ‘Can we meet now, I’m horny?’ This is very uncomfortable for the reciprocate and can be an instant turn off and you may be blocked.

8. TURN UP

Don’t be known as a timewaster.

Have the decency to turn up on time, clean and fresh. If you’re not sure about meeting them or getting intimate with them when the time comes, then simply say ‘No thanks’. This will save a lot of time and bother.

Not showing up can cause so much trouble. The couple could have spent hours sorting out accommodation, spent money preparing for the event or have travelled a long way.

If you are nervous about the meeting, then say that in your messages. The lady or couple will understand. Perhaps they are nervous too! If you don’t know what to talk about at first, talk about work and hobbies. Then after a few drinks you will all be relaxed for the next stage. If you’re not comfortable with the situation, then you can politely walk away. At least you have made the first step and had a nice social event out of it. Perhaps the next time you may go further.

NO

9. NO MEANS NO

As a single guy, you are allowed to use this too.

If you’re uncomfortable with the situation, then say so. You cannot be forced to do anything thing that you don’t want to do. If people laugh at you because of this, then walk away.

If they demand condoms, then use condoms. However horny you are at the time and are asked to do unpleasant or uncomfortable things, remember you’re in control of your own life and surroundings. Just say no.

Also, respect the couple’s limitations and boundaries too. If they say no, it means no.

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10. ADULT SITE EXTRAS

These websites are not like your mobile phone apps that cater for instant sex on tap. Although I’m sure there are people on the site who are looking for multiple partners too. Treat the website as a social scene and then you will find the experience much more enjoyable. And if you’re lucky enough to find playmates then that’s a bonus.

Remember that you are using mature adult sites and that you need to treat people with respect. Present yourself as you wish to be treated and not the slut that you want to be.

Most people on these sites are looking to make friends as life can get lonely these days. Plus this can be a perfect outlet for them to indulge in their fantasies, kinks and fetishes. Having someone else who understands them and that they can to talk about it openly, even if you both are miles away from each other, can be a comforting and liberating experience.

Forums and chatrooms are an excellent way to get to know people. This is an excellent way for getting noticed and promoting yourself. Plus you’ll be able to find and meet other people in your area who have the same interests as you. And if you’ve very lucky, you may see or even perform as sexy show on cam.

Premium Membership has its benefits too. On some websites you can message as much as you like and are able to use the chatrooms with more cams on view. Also you can upload more photos per day and have access to the site’s premium offers and discounts.

I hope this has helped in any way and can make your online experience much more enjoyable and hassle free.

Have fun and be happy and stay safe.

#kinky #klobber #kinkyklobber

 

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Swingo Bingo!

Here is an ice breaking game that will help you to kick start your party.

Print out the sheet and hand it out to each guest as they chat over their drinks. It’s up you if you want the whole sheet filled up or separate prizes for anyone who has four corners or one line completed on their card.

This is a great game as your guests can get to know your other each other and start to play without any awkward moments.

SWINGO BINGO 1 PDF

Have fun and good luck!

 

 

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13th November 2017

Some tag words.

69
Adult
Adultery
Anal
Arse
Ass
Babies
Bandana
Bareback
Basque
BBC
BBW
BDSM
Beads
Bears
Belts
Big
Black
Blindfold
Blow
Body
Bois
Boiz
Bondage
Boobs
Boots
Bottom
Boudoir
Boxers
Bra
Bugger
Bukkake
Bulge
Bull
Camel
Cane
Caning
Caress
CBT
CBT
Chains
Clamps
Clit
Clitorus
Clothes
Clubbing
Clubs
Cock
Code
Collar
Collaring
Condoms
Corporal
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Cottage
Cottaging
Crotch
Cub
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Cum
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Cunt
Cup
Daddies
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Doggers
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Domination
Douche
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Ecstacy
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Felatio
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Fishnet
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Flagging
Flogging
Frottage
Fuck
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Guys
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Handcuffs
Handkerchief
Hanky
Harness
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Hen
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Jeans
Job
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Lycra
Male
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Master
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Mistress
Moan
Muff
Munch
Nine
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Tickle
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Titilate
Tits
Toe
Torture
Trainers
Transexual
Transvestite
Trunks
Underwear
Unicorn
Uniforms
Vaccum
Vagina
Vanilla
Vibrator
Wank
Wanker
Wanking
Watersports
Whips
Whore
Wicked
Wife
Willy
Woman
Women
Writhe
XXX

 

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November 11th 2017

Whilst having a discussion over dinner in an upmarket restaurant, the subject of pubic hair cropped up. Naturally! Apparently, my friend has been told that she has a neat, tucked in lady front bottom, which lead to the conversation about Brazilian’s, Hollywood’s or the back, crack and sack. With that in mind, how you grow your gardens or not? Do you shave/wax, trim or let it grow naturally down there?

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Launch Night 2017

How fitting to choose the approach of Bonfire Night to officially Launch Kinky Klobber into the Ethos.  It is now time to shrug off the chains that bind and embrace and encompass a new era of exploration into the exciting unknown underworld of Kinky Klobber and sexual exploration for the modern generation.

Quite simply anything goes … Come as you are.

Here, you will find a friendly bunch of like minded individuals ready and willing to explore and fulfil your every desire, however secret these may be.  We offer a bespoke and personal service dedicated to helping you to fulfil your inner desires.  Our aim is to provide a full and complete individual service to our clients who may require help and support in any/all areas of their lifestyle choices.  We not only provide materialistic purchases but also are willing to engage with and support all who visit our site with the view to providing excellent customer service and confidentiality.